5 Responses

  1. Charlotte Hudson
    Charlotte Hudson October 31, 2013 at 6:05 pm | | Reply

    I had a heartbreaking experience a few weeks ago. Someone who I have been friends with since childhood recently went through a divorce, during which time I took it upon myself to “be there for her” for almost a year any time she needed a shoulder to cry on. One day three weeks ago my daughter and I were running around furiously on our day off work running through a list of 11 “to dos” preparing for her December wedding. Because we were rushing all day I had turned my phone off so we would not be delayed by calls and texts. That afternoon at 4:15 while we were waiting to meet with our wedding director, I checked my texts and missed calls. My recently divorced friend had texted and called earlier in the day. When I texted her back apologizing for missing her messages during the day, she texted back, “Nevermind, Charlotte. You are a hypocrite.” You see, the past almost year I have spent hours upon hours with her to the point of being absent from my husband. Now that my daughter needed my time in preparation of her approaching wedding, my friend did not seem to understand that my time with her was limited. My heart was broken and I don’t think I heard a word the wedding director said for the first 30 minutes of our meeting. Finally, I convinced myself that I had to focus on the meeting and put the friend problem “in another box” for the time being. Things are definitely not always what they seem. My friend didn’t even bother to ask what I had been doing that kept me from calling/texting her that day. For all she knew I could have been at the hospital. Her cruel words cut like a two-edged sword. But since then I have realized that perhaps I enabled her to demand too much of my time since I often left work and went to have coffee with her several times a week, invited her to dinner often, my husband and I took her out to dinner several times, I went with her to her attorney’s office twice because she asked me to, etc. Sometimes I think we actually “teach” people how to treat us and how they treat us is OUR own fault. Though my heart still hurts, I know that I have a lot of real friends and I praise God for His blessing of true friendship.

  2. vernon van der westhuizen
    vernon van der westhuizen November 21, 2013 at 12:41 am | | Reply

    Well said. I have learned something. Blessings to you.

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